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Real Stuff.

July 9th, 2015 (02:14 am)
current song: Spitalfield-In The Same Life

Well, I've been in Dayton off and on for two months now and I still don't feel like I've settled in yet. I think the timing was just bad. I was suppose to be here at the beginning of the year. I had a good job lined up and everything. Obviously, that fell through because it took me so long to get here. Actually, the job was gone in February. So, I was suppose to be here in March, and I had a job lined up coaching football. Again, that fell through. I ended up having to stay a couple of extra months because Uncle Tony was in the hospital not doing well. They thought he had thyroid cancer that turned out to be a bunch of infections. He had surgery on his hip, and they took more of his leg. He was in the hospital for two months. I finally get up here, and I get a call asking if I can come back into town, that he has to have another. So I go back for a week, he comes home and everything is great. He's actually doing well. I set up an interview for the following Monday with a company up in Cincinnati. That Saturday I get a call from my mom telling me Uncle Bob had been rushed to the hospital. Uncle Bob had had lung cancer and was in the hospital for like 100 days. They got it taken care of, and sent him home. He was home less than a week. He died from a blood clot in his lungs. So Mom grabs me on Monday morning on her way home from Vermont and I'm in Louisville for a week. That Sunday night, Sarah starts complaining about a pain in her upper body. I ask her if she wants me to take her to the hospital. She says no. She wakes me up at 6am saying she needed to go. Brayden was in Florida, and Lucas' dad came to get him and her mother took her to the hospital. Something was wrong with her gallbladder. We were leaving the cemetary on Thursday and Uncle Tony calls me and asks how long we were going to be. Peppy was having seizures again and Aunt Verna wanted me to take him to the vet. We had just been at the vet the day before. Anyways, we go to the vet and he suggests that with Peppy's age, it would be better to put him down. We did. I shit you not, from Monday-Friday I probably got about 12 hours of sleep total. I catch a ride back to Dayton with Angela on Friday and get back home at like 6pm. I got a couple of hours of sleep, which was good. Sarah and I went back to Louisville on Saturday for Matthew's birthday. Brayden had a birthday party on Saturday. We were getting the yard ready Saturday afternoon. Matthew was out on the back deck filling up water balloons and I went to the porch to clean it off. The guy who redid our floors just threw the old carpeting and pads out on the front porch. It's probably my fault for not cleaning it up sooner. So I put on gloves and go out and start throwing it in the trash can. I feel something on my leg, I think it's tact strips. I look down and there are tons of bees. I run inside like an idiot and call Sarah to tell her not to come through the front door. There are bees inside of my clothing. In the end, we counted 22 bee stings. It sucked!

So that's what I've been dealing with. That, and not having a job. I start one on Monday. Hopefully that will allow me to get back to normal. It's frustrating sitting around the house all day with nothing to do. I pretty much wake up, clean and wait for Sarah to get home, which is usually about 6. I cook dinner, and by the time that's done it's time for the kids to go to bed. They usually go to bed around 9 and we sit down here for a little bit. We go upstairs at about 11 and watch TV until she falls asleep. Then I come downstairs and sit here and try to entertain myself until I get tired. It sucks not working, but not having friends up here to talk to or do anything with really sucks. I know once I start working, things will get a lot better. Monday can't come quick enough. I need to get back into some sort of routine. We are going to Louisville on Saturday to take Brayden to a soccer game. That should be fun. It's weird because Sarah makes me so happy, but I'm not happy right now. It's not her fault, the move was just at the worst possible time. Looking back, it would've been worse if I would've moved up here when I was suppose to, because then I wouldn't have been able to help Aunt Verna out with taking care of Uncle Tony. It's not that I'm angry with how things are going. I'm just frustrated because I can't contribute. It's embarrassing. I'm stuck in a house all day and I get cabin fever and I'm just cranky. I've realized that this has happened a few times before, and I didn't handle it well then. Maybe looking back at the old Live Journal posts will help me deal with this. It will tell me what not to do, that's for sure.

Anyways, I'm off of here. I'm actually getting kind of sleepy. I have to wake up early tomorrow and fill out some direct deposit forms and such for the new job. Good night.

"He climbs the stairs and takes his time, then all at once the door swings wide to his new life. He lies in bed and paints the ceiling, half asleep but barely dreaming. Beside him she sleeps. Wonder if tomorrow, he won't go, they both know they're under the same sky in the same life. She said 'move forward, you can wait longer'. Walking backwards never gets one far."